March 28, 2008

Fulcrum

Posted in blogging, drawing, outsourcing, Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , , , , at 6:41 pm by czygyny

smallblowayz.jpg

5:30 am.  I wake early, realizing that this is THE day. It’s easy to get up this dark, cold morning. I get warmly dressed, grab my big Mag-light and take the dogs out the dark path down the road to get the paper. How poignant, the last day I will ever contribute to the making of this paper, not that I had any real impact on in for quite some time.

The walk in the dark always helps me wake up for a new day, I look for my familar stars, hope for a moon, it’s a waning half moon this morning, low in the southern sky. It illuminates my way enough so that the flashlight remains off. I relish this early dark. Time for my eyes to clear, time for the morning grumps to pass, the cold invigorates me.

I feed the sheep and sit out on the picnic table for my morning prayer. I am thankful for what I have been given, grateful that the biggest storms have, hopefully, passed through my life by this point. Hardship can often be used constructively to build on the future, if you allow it.

Time to get ready. Time to ‘sally forth’ into my day of days.

——————

6:00pm. I’m home. Home for good. No more driving that same beat up old back road, no more pulling in to my favorite parking space. I’ll miss my ‘cathedral trees’, those blue oaks that would glow in back-light, in spring that lovely translucent green, in fall, the burnished golds and oranges, when the sun was just right. I never again will have to walk up those stairs with a sigh, and enter in to what has become a nightmare.

My friends and coworkers came to my going away lunch party at a pizza parlor that is close by. I was pleased to see them all, and I was surprised with my very own Philbert card!! How many years have Phil and I made cards for people leaving, and now, I have one of my very own. Thanks Phil! Don’t forget to send me those pictures!

The day was bitter sweet, filled with hugs and fare-wells, time to double check my cabinets and drawers, make sure I have retrieved all my files from my computer, my fan, my pens and pencils (I bought), all the little things that make a day at work easier. My spot looked so empty and without personality. ‘Me’ was taken out of it, just the dust, dead leaves and stray paperclips remain.

It was a cold, gloomy, wet day, fitting for such an end. I held up well all day, but when it came time to tell my best of friends, Syndi, goodbye, then the sadness began to slip in. 26 years of shared experiences, of upheavals, changes, celebrations, growth. It started out with just us two, but was not to end with us leaving together. She is still going to have to face the unnecessary and pointless daily urgencies and stress-filled days. It’s time to get out, friend, nothing good is here for you. I will miss all of you.

The Company was generous to me, and sent me off with a fitting gift for my years of tenure, it will be a great help for me to move on to my next chapter of my life. It has made this departure easier and my future more sure.

My face is turned to a new direction, and my life takes the fork in the road to a different path.

I am ready.

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6 Comments »

  1. I know that I’ve become a friend, but I want the world to know what a wonderful professional you were. And most of all, what a great co-worker.
    When I started at the paper, you took me under your wing and helped me adapt to the crazy world of ad design. I was teamed with a salesperson that was, shall we say, challenging. You helped guide me through those bumps and always encouraged me to try a little harder and be a little better. And you watched my back.
    When I was going through a rough patch in my life, you helped keep me from going over the deep end and allowed me to lean on your strength and helped me to rediscover my spirit. I couldn’t have done it without you.
    You’re no longer at the paper and it will take me a long, long time to adjust to not having you there. It will be an even drabber and sadder place to be.
    But, I take solace in the fact that you may no longer be a co-worker, but you will always be my friend.
    Thank you for everything. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Thank you for inspiring me with your talent. Thank you for being so kind. You are a true bodhisattva.
    Congratulations on your new life!
    Talk to you soon.

  2. czygyny said,

    Philbert, it as been a pure joy to know, and to bug the heck out of, you, all these years. I have enjoyed having a peer to work with, and it still weirds me out when I see a drawing and have to take a second to ponder whether I did it or you did it.
    Of course, the yellow shirt incident will always be the showcase of my somewhat juvenile sense of jollys, the look on your face in the mornings, was, as the tv commercial says, priceless!
    I still think we should have gone good on our plan to buy some Boone’s Farm and Keystone at the little store across the street after work and sit under the freeway overpass and throw empty beer cans at the passing cars, but, hey, we had to grow up and act mature and all that nonsense.
    Artists are little children locked in comically aging bodies.
    I have missed our breaks, I shake my fist at different shifts, but lunch is a phone call away because we will always be friends, and I will miss you, even while I am outside digging to my heart’s content.
    The card you made for me is touching in an unexpected way although the question begs for an explanation of ‘GASSHO’…Seeing me walking away with Razzit, hand in hand, brought unexpected emotion. And, jeez, do I really look that old? (You did a wonderful job, just kidding–this last six months has aged me a year if not more)
    If I can get an electronic version of the image I want to post in here on my blog, hint, hint. Do it, or I will post that image of you I have tucked away for blackmail purposes back in your bohemian days when you actually had a follicly-filled cranium. ):-)
    I look forward to seeing you as we pursue new avenues in life, we both have room to grow and excel.
    I raise my cup of jasmine tea to you, phabulous phurry and phunny phriend Philbert!

  3. Ian said,

    You are one class act. Enjoy your new freedom.

  4. czygyny said,

    Ian, I am already lighter in spirit than I have been in a decade, and I get these odd fits of giggles all the time. My dogs (and kids) think I’ve gone quite mad.
    My biggest sadness is leaving my friends to continue in that parody of gainful employment.
    I was amazed, though, when R.A. had the pluck to wish me well, I had thought her quite a-feared of me…can’t understand why. );-) I am so transparent.
    Please think twice before compacting detrius in a wheeled receptacle, my friend, I think you got off lucky this time *wink* *wink* I never did get to sign your cast.
    Even now, I envision myself in my little rowboat, pleasantly drifting away from the RS barge, off towards new adventures…ahoy, mate!

  5. Terri said,

    So there I was heading back to the office mid-morning Monday and I saw you drive by, you were laughing or talking to the passengers in your car. You had the biggest smile on your face and I thought “Wow! Good for you Mitzy. You’re happy!”

    Then Tuesday came and I pulled into the parking lot at the RS and there was the biggest bird perched in a tree by the side door. My first thought was go tell Mitzy, she’ll know what kind of bird that is. I still don’t know.

    I never did get to say goodbye to you. I was on vacation during your last few days. I will miss you around the office but will always think of you as I pass by the Prickly Pear Cactus in my driveway from you a few years back. You are extremely talented and I have no doubt you will look back soon and know that this is just a turn in the road to something greater waiting for you! I wish you all the best!

    I was on vacation during your last few days at the R.S. and didn’t get to tell you goodbye.

  6. czygyny said,

    Terri, my spam-blocker had your message quarantined! I am sorry I missed it, until now.
    Yes, I am quite a bit happier right now, life is good.
    The big bird that you saw is most likely one of the ravens that have been hanging about.
    Sorry you all have to still be there, 😦
    ~Mitsy


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